just a little more

you know….its really quite amazing how much space a little 6lb dog took up around here. now its oddly quiet. oddly empty.

still.

we were lucky to have had her here. i’m glad we took in that old sickly furious dog - a stray from the pound - with nails painted bright red and a cough that sounded like she’s been smoking pal mals since she was a teen.

everybody loved to make up stories about her. how she was a hooker from the bronks or how she must have lived with an old drag queen who died…

she took to the bustier of our friends first. we finally were able to lull her to sleep those first few days in the bosom of maria. we never did find a name that she would answer to, so we just called her what she was. little.

she found a home in adam’s lap. she was his special girl. when he was going through his hard time, little was right there. she was the only one that didn’t seem to make every poor in his body hurt. it was his idea to get a chihuahua. we’d have 14 of them plus sammy and girlie if we could. adam loved little from the second she came through the door, all terrified and hungry.

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the itty bitty titty commity (as she was sometimes called) loved to go places. she didn’t love to walk, but she LOVED to be carried around in a bag. she was a great shopper. she also loved to eat. i watched her eat a WHOLE bananna peel once. if you didn’t give her some of whatever it was you were eating she would become FURIOUS and bark untill she got her way.

little always got her way.

thankyou thankyou thankyou my littlest girl! you are the best little girl in the whole little world….

my littlest thanks

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the third shoe…

friday afternoon. miss little, the littlest roth of all, fell asleep in my arms for the very last time. after an emergency middle of the night hospital visit, she had stopped eating or drinking any water, couldn’t walk very well or navigate her way at all around anymore. she got lost in corners. she stopped barking. she had suddenly slipped away.

i kept looking for the grown up who would know what to do. i had to be a grown up. i felt then and feel now about three.

there’s more to tell, but it’s christmas still and i have to drown myself in hot chocolate and cheese sticks.

luvonya.

none more xmasier

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thank god for these people!

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at last a breath i can feel!

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…………..

there is much more i need to say, but we’ll get to that soon. after the endless day of christmas…good night my littlest love.

hold please.

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feel like i am on hold.

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this time of year is like one big long sunday.