careful now

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the thing that’s puzzling me right now is that i’m really not sure what to do next. usually this is my favorite time of year, but for the first time in my life i don’t welcome the early twilight. i’m all discombobulated.

such strange times. feels like the big scramble before a storm or something only more subtle. i can really feel how everyone seems to be freaking out. i’m kind of freaking out only not in he usual way. on the one hand i know who i am and who i love, so that’s good. i don’t feel bad for not having time for bullshit, and that’s good. i kind of don’t even care that i could be a little more polite. a lot of security type stuff’s up in the air and i’m not even that worried which is strange.

i A. don’t know what to do with myself even though i have a ton of stuff to do and B. feel like i’m living in a foreign skin.