wow wow wow!
have you ever really really wanted something so much that you never thought it would come true? i get to have that. i’m admitting it, just for the goof, to see what happens.
if you don’t hear from me. call my mom and tell her she was right.
april 11: broadway and 43rd st.
I never know what’s my particular brand of worry and what’s my intuition…but then I do.
People are so strange. I OFTEN feel like I’m walking through a play in progress or I’m a ghost and nobody sees me or I’m not saying the right password or something. There’s a lot of the blank maybe-if-is-just-stare-and-say-nothing-she’ll-go-away stares going on. I mean, I’m the common denominator in all of this, so It must be me, right? More blank stares. I decided the other day that my ancient Indian name should definitely be Angry Saystoomuch. Maybe my mom was right. Maybe I should just nod and smile and BE FLEXIBLE. <sarcasm>Ya. That’s always worked so well.</sarcasm>
I’ll admit it. I’m afraid. I got worry. But you know, there just really isn’t any point. You can NOT stop what’s coming. And even though I know that? I worry anyway.
I wonder if the fact that I didn’t get my driver’s license until I was 28 has anything to do with the fact that I never go anywhere. It just never occurs to me. I lived in NYC for 8 years before I paid my first visit to Cental Park. Ya. Short Leash.
Last week I went to Flushing Queens for some administrative gunk and it was this total adventure.
Dude. Have you ever BEEN to Flushing Queens? I had not. It is a “chinatown” but one where no tourists go. And maybe because it was raining and maybe because it was Monday….all I can tell you is those were some BLEAK streets my friend. Busted Old Navy. Crack den Macy’s with cops standing in the doorway.
Lots of smoking, coughing, spitting…There was a mall, but I swear to god there was nobody in there. I went in. There was just a video playing on a TV screen next to an empty store, presumably touting the benefits of some skin care or other. No music. No hum of people talking. creepy.
In the misdst of it all, though there is this great cream puff stand near the subway stop that’s bright pink and totally stands out like a night light among the dreary smog covered everything else on the main street.
A nice lady who was also buying cream puffs directed me to a really good restaurant up the way for lunch where I had duck and summer rolls. Also, I have to say that there were AMAZING .99 cent stores. In one I bought a cheery yellow umbrella for 3 dollars and i found it difficult to leave it a that but you know…..I’m on a budget.
photo by charles nickles
on my gratitude list is that i get to play really loud all the time.
i love my little mission lately!