i think i was watching one of those “improve your life” things on pbs one late night and they said something like sometimes you have to fake your way into a good mood. – that if your body acts psyched to be awake your mind will be all like – oh…ummm… ALRIGHT!

so this is me getting fuckin’ PUMPED DUDE!

and the whee-uhls they go round and round


last night i heard my brother laugh and it had the exact cadence as my mom’s. i understand that this is one way that she is close by, now that she isn’t. i too share a mannerism – the absentminded twiddling of thumb against finger.

so weird, but i feel like i should have a kid now. i get it, the generational thing. i see how children complete the circle. i never really did before. i love kids. love to play with them and i am determined to work though a crying baby episode one day. but i never wanted children of my own. if anything i’m much more drawn to the ones that are already here and need some love. the strays. ach, who knows…