there she goes….

my little mom
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she’s on to the next thing now.  maybe she’s mixed in with the rain over the ocean and on her way to becoming the sunshine that warms next spring’s crocus patch. i feel ok about where she is. i know she isn’t sad or afraid or filed with regret. i don’t feel her with me. i wouldn’t mind a visit and feel her cool soft cheek on mine.

here’s what i thought about today: her coral clinique lipstick on a mcdonald’s cheese burger and how she would always let me have the pickles, planting bulbs in the garden, watching her play bridge at the beach in the summer, and laughing in the car as her thumbs caressed the steering wheel absent-mindedly.

do i love you? oh my, do i. darlin ‘deed i do.

hotwire my heart

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i think there’s a shift. i notice a kindness, or a willingness to be human or a vulnerability that i’ve never felt from the outside before. soft electricity is in the air. it feels exactly opposite of what evil feels like. amazing actually.
maybe there’s just no choice. i mean, time and space aren’t even absolute anymore. always been is gone. everything is new. gotta pay attention.

i’m still scared of you snarky fuckers. but i don’t care. make fun of me. hate met with snark just makes more hate. its too late for that shit. imma love.