i get mad

does anybody besides me remeber this?

i get mad. alot. my whole life. things just never ever seem right or fair. today i saw an old lady scraping the ice off of her steps with a SPATULA. but if i tried to help her you just know she’d look at me like i had three heads. and i swear to god is it me or am i the only one who notices all this crap? FUCK!
so yeah. basically i don’t know how to deal with it and still have friends.
i used to just do tons of drugs and everything was fine, but that sorta backfired after a while and had to end. and people would be like “hey how are you?” and i be like “I HAVEN’T SLEPT IN 4 WEEKS! HOW DO YOU FUCKING THINK I AM?!”. so yeah that didn’t work either. so i just put on the imaginary fake nails and imaginary BIG hair and a big ol grin and i just decided that everything was OK and that i was LUCKY TO BE ALIVE. and HOW ARE YOU?! and that’s how i’ve been for a very long long long time now.

but you know what?
i am mad. and my soul is ringing and i don’t even know why.

dropping the act. it hurts.

just go to bed…but no.

stillife0207.jpg

yeah…no. not when there are thoughts to be thought and stuff to be rummaged through. there’s no sleeping here!

it sure is quiet tho, isn’t it? makes me nervous. all this nothing to worry about. i really feel like i’m about to sit down in a chair that’s about to be pulled out from under me and i’ll fall flat on my ass and my wraparound skirt will fly up and everyone will see my underwear.

its why i don’t wear skirts.

and why i do.

and inhaaaaale……