july 7 13th st and 5th ave.
a mix tape (CD. whateverthefuck.) is a funny thing. it’s a meditation on the person you make it for.
show me show me show me….on the mouth……starpower….. la la la.
its how to say i love you when you can’t say i love you how you want to.
a lovely breath that reaches out and out and out. hoping.
even when there’s no need.
a guest photo taken of me living some rock…thanks charles!
i am profoundly lucky to get and am able to play loud loud loud guitar all the time.
i hate that i get caugt up in the politics of the gig getting but then i plug it in and i’m gone. its good!
i’ve been trying to get to know my super 8 camera and thusly have not been spending as much time with my other cameras. here’s a still from the zoo in paris.
i’ve been missing the shit out of little lately.
i’ve also been thinking about some other pets that i’ve had to leave behind. i had this one cat with a boyfriend a million years ago. he was a black and white little guy with 6 toes who fetched bic pens. i taught that kid how to eat , he was so little when we got him. when i left that guy, i had to leave the cat behind too. the guy didn’t want me to go and so he wouldn’t let me take the cat (or many of my belongings) (it was a healthy time…) i still regret that to this day. he (the cat) would be about 18 now.
then i got two new cats, brother and sister. handsome grey with green eyes – boo boo cary grant – and CRAZY calico with insane buldging cocane eyes – GET BACK LORETTA! it was kind of unrewarding at first becasue we ewren’t as close as the black and white and i were, and they had each other and had little use for me. eventually, though we developed a deep bond , especially boo boo and me cuz he was special. everybody loved loretta but, where she was aggressive and playful, boo was gentle and careful. he slept on my lap. he developed diabetes and one night had to be rushed to the hospital all limp and making sounds that sounded like a screaming baby. honestly? i think that’s the day i became an adult. anyway.
i fell for my best friend and he is horribly allergic to cats. eventually, when we got married i had to find new homes for the cats. i think that at the time it was the hardest thing ever for me to do. i kept hoping something would happen. someone would take both of them. eventually my freind glen (or glenda) from philly took loretta (much to his dismay i’m sure!) and this girl from a bar down the street where i play sometimes took boo. i never saw that little guy again. i heard that girl went crazy and took off to iran or something. i hope she didn’t bring my handsome buy to the pound. sometimes i go by petco to see if he’s there. i feel like such a dick.
i think i forgot to show you these…
blood brothers all ages show at irving plaza. un. real.
music fucking saved my life.
may 6 or 7: paris
yep. i’m not sleepy. i give up on trying to figure myself out. my dad goes to bed at 4 in the morning. maybe this restlessness lives in my blood. but really who cares?
sometimes i feel like everything is finally so nice, i get scared and i just want to die so i can quit while i’m ahead. i mean i don’t actually want to off myself….it’s just…i just know all about how shit changes all the time and i guess this is my little control fantasy. it’s not waiting for the other shoes to drop. i just don’t want to be included in the next round of shit hitting fan, feel me? funnily though, the other day i was convinced that was having a heart attack and that i had merely months, days really, to live…
and then, natch i wanted it all. the disasters, the birthday cakes, the sunday iggies…the whole package for at least 50 years. if i could just survive the weekend i promised nobody but somebody to live the shit out of the next coupla decades.
i bet if i could learn to do a handstand i’d understand stuff better.